


Clueless

by ultraviolet289



Category: High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Childhood Friends, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Nini wants ricky, Pining, but ricky is a lil scared, jealous nini, proclaiming their love, they both have a very long monologue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24411490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultraviolet289/pseuds/ultraviolet289
Summary: “I love you.”Something, however, she stupidly forgot about, was how clueless the boy was, when he responded back. “Aw, I love you too, bug.”She had kicked herself. Of course she wouldn’t get it right on the first try. So she tried again. “No,” she whispered. “I’m in love with you, stupid.”At that moment Ricky did something she really didn’t expect. He froze up. Silent. Was he trying to figure out a clever was to say it back? Maybe she had gone a little too harsh with the “stupid.” But Nini was sure he had to feel they same. They were Ricky and Nini after all.But to her surprise and broken heart, Ricky untangled his arm from behind Nini’s head where she rested. He was up, wiping his hands down his face.“Ricky?”------Nini was positive he loved her back. Absolutely positive. But apparently, he didn't. And now she was stuck at college with the love of her life... and his new girlfriend.
Relationships: Ricky Bowen & Nini Salazar-Roberts, Ricky Bowen/Nini Salazar-Roberts
Comments: 7
Kudos: 106





	Clueless

**Author's Note:**

> I have a couple things to say:  
> 1) I KNOWWW okokok. I haven't updated "There Are Villains Everywhere" in a HOT second. But here's the thing, I started writing the last chapter (yes, the final chapter) but it really sucked and I don't know how to write what I want to write. It was going to be an abbreviated scene of the courtroom, but then I realized I know NOTHING of what goes down during a trial, and writing it was just no fun. I hate hate hate when writers abandoned their work, but I am THIS close to just throwing in the towel. For those of you who like that story, I am really sorry. I'm just.... reallyyyyy struggling.  
> 2) I came up with this one shot one night laying in bed. I wrote it in three sessions. I'm very happy with how it turned out. I think I might write more oneshots more often because they are MUCH less commitment and much more fun.  
> 3) There's a line here inspired by Laurie in Little Women ;))). Let me know if you find it!
> 
> 4) and last but not least, enjoy!

Growing up, Nini was positive that she was destined to be with Ricky. They met when they were five in that kindergarten classroom, and became inseparable. Endless playdates and inside jokes all throughout grade school. She mended his scrapes and cuts when he fell off of his skateboard. He attended every damn cello show and gig that she had. She watched him try sports for the first time, and after getting his ass kicked on the soccer field, she watched him go right back to falling off of his skateboard. They went to the eight grade dance together. Prom together. They snuck out for the first time together. Got blackout drunk and grounded together. They did _everything_ together. There was simply no Nini without Ricky and no Ricky without Nini. 

And by senior year, Nini was positive it was time. Time to tell him how she had felt for so long. It had to be obvious that she loved him. Loved him more than a best friend. Hell, they got into the same college. They would be spending the next four years with each other, and Nini wanted to officially be _with each other_.

So that one night they snuck onto the roof of East High. The stars were out and bright. They laid down on a blanket, staring out into the night sky. It was the perfect moment. And right there, right then she said those words.

“I love you.”

Something, however, she stupidly forgot about, was how clueless the boy was, when he responded back. “Aw, I love you too, bug.”

She had kicked herself. Of course she wouldn’t get it right on the first try. So she tried again. “No,” she whispered. “I’m _in_ love with you, stupid.”

At that moment Ricky did something she really didn’t expect. He froze up. Silent. Was he trying to figure out a clever was to say it back? Maybe she had gone a little too harsh with the “stupid.” But Nini was sure he had to feel they same. They were Ricky and Nini after all.

But to her surprise and broken heart, Ricky untangled his arm from behind Nini’s head where she rested. He was up, wiping his hands down his face.

“Ricky?”

He stood up. Even though the night was dark, Nini could see the shadows of his face as she sat up. He looked almost… devastated. Definitely not what she wanted to see. 

“Nini. You know I love you, so much. But like…as a friend.”

Nini’s hopeful face fell. 

“A _best_ friend,” Ricky corrected himself seeing her face turn. He thought maybe it would make her feel better. It did not. 

Ricky rambled on, going on and on about how much he appreciated her and supported her, and loved her. But all she was hearing were excuses. Excuses of why he didn’t feel the same way she did. 

He left her alone that night on the rooftop. Claiming they both needed a little time to clear their heads. 

And then on Monday, Nini simply apologized to him. She didn’t want to make a big deal of it, she didn’t want to make it a whole _thing._ So as best she could, she swept it under the rug. Told him everything was fine and that she was just happy that they were friends. 

Everything was not fine. But it would be even worse if they weren’t friends at all.

And Ricky, clueless as usual, accepted these terms, and they went on with their lives. 

Fast forward to college, Nini was still bottling up her feelings. Yet to get over the curly haired boy. School was helping her get her mind off of things. She was majoring in environmental science, minoring in music. Her love of the cello, along with her love of Ricky, had yet to diminish, so she stuck with the former in her studies.

Ricky’s story had taken an unexpected turn. After attending just one frat party, Ricky met a girl and they started going out. Her name was…Isabelle? Nini had met her just once, and that was more than enough times that she could handle. This beautiful, blue eyed, blonde girl had gotten the boy she had wanted all of her life. She was sweet and all, and perfectly nice, but it absolutely sucked for Nini. She wanted to tear her hair out just thinking about the pair. How another girl was getting kisses and cuddles that were supposed to be her’s.

Other than his relationship, Ricky was thriving in other areas. He was also minoring in music, but his major was engineering. Because of their similar studies, they pair were always somehow near each other. And even though she was more upset than she let on, it was true what she had said to him. She wanted them to remain friends. Best friends. 

Unfortunately, however, as much as she wanted to avoid Isabelle (or “my princess Belle” according to Ricky, which Nini had recalled to her disgust), they ended up living in the same building, and even worse the same floor. Nini never engaged in conversation, but she was polite enough to say hello and put on a smiley face. It was hard, however, especially when she would occasionally see the love of her fucking life bringing food or flowers to his girlfriend and not Nini. When she could hear giggling from three doors down. 

The circumstances were a little bit different however, one October afternoon, as Nini walked down the hall with her empty laundry basket in hand, on her way to pick up her clothing. She was wearing the last clean sweater and pair of jeans she owned. She was noting the slight itch of her tag when she noticed a golden head of hair bouncing down the hallway. 

“Hi, Nini!” Isabelle cheerfully greeted.   
“Oh, hey Isabelle,” Nini put on her signature polite smile and tried to proceed walking, but shiny white teeth and perfect skin blocked her way.  
“I’m actually so glad I ran into you! I wanted to ask about something.” Isabelle’s voice was so soft and smooth. Even with just these two sentences, this was the longest time Nini had ever listened to her speak, and she clearly understood how Isabelle, too, minored in music. Her voice was beautiful just speaking aloud. She wondered how much Ricky liked that voice.

“Sure,” Nini responded.

“Great, well some of the girls on this floor were thinking of throwing a mixer on the roof next weekend. We thought we’d invite some guys from a couple buildings down.”

“That’s an awesome idea.”

“Right?,’’ Isabelle playfully placed her perfectly manicured fingers on Nini’s arm. A pang of jealously hit her in the chest. Nini could never grow out her nails or get those cute acrylics. They would always interfere with the cello. Isabelle continued, “Well, I was wondering if you could pitch in like twenty dollars for drinks and stuff? Everyone is putting in a little money.”

“Of course. Sounds fun!”

“Thank you so much! And hey, maybe you’ll meet a guy. You’re single, right?” The blonde raised her eyebrows suggestively, and Nini forced a giggle back. Yeah, a guy. 

But before she could answer “yeah, I’m super single (and quite possibly in love with your boyfriend),” Nini heard a familiar, male voice behind her. “Hey, Princess Belle.”

Isabelle’s face lit up as she looked over Nini’s should. She squealed, _squealed,_ and ran past the brunette into Ricky’s arms. “Babe! What are you doing here? I thought you had to finish a paper today?”

It felt like a dagger in her heart hearing the nickname, seeing him like that, with another girl in his arms. She wanted to look away, but Nini couldn’t yet. It was like seeing them was so terrible she just couldn’t look away. 

“Half the class got the flu so the professor pushed back the due date. Plus—” Ricky handed the girl and super pink drink with the Starbucks logo on the side. “—I wanted to surprise my girlfriend”

“Aw, that’s so sweet!” She kissed him on the corner of his mouth, and that was it, Nini couldn’t watch anymore. She couldn’t wait for the girl to stop climbing all over Ricky just so she could greet her childhood friend, she turned away and started heading down the hall to the laundry room. Not until she rounded the corner did she hear the pair speak again. “Hey, where did Nini go?”

“I don’t know, I was just talking with her. I think she’s headed to the laundry room.”

“Oh.That’s too bad. I wanted to say hi. I haven’t talked with her in a little bit.”

Down in the laundry room, Nini had dumped all of her clothing onto a small table so she could sort through everything and fold her clothes. 

_Maybe you’ll meet a guy_. The words kept replaying in her head. That’s a solution that Nini never considered. Maybe meeting a guy was just what she needed to forget about Ricky. Maybe if she just got a boyfriend, she would stop hurting so damn much. But as she thought about it some more, how could she focus on another guy when all she wanted was Ricky? And even if she did meet a nice guy, Nini had never been in a relationship before. She doesn’t know how flirt and be a girlfriend and—

“ _Shit_ ,” Nini looked down at the cozy white sweatshirt she was folding and saw bright ruby streaks and splotches all over the front. “I washed my lipstick, that’s great. That’s fucking incredible”

But this washed lipstick was not fine at all. No. It was like rubbing fucking salt in a cut. Why did she have to wash her fucking lipstick? Was she stupid not to check that it was in the fucking pocket of that sweatshirt? She was an idiot. A stupid fucking idot who messed up her favorite sweatshirt _and_ her favorite lipstick _and_ her favorite friendship with her favorite person in the entire world.

She really was an idiot. An idiot for fucking everything up when she could have just kept her mouth shut.

Nini didn’t notice the tears streaming down her face until she saw drops start to appear on the clothing in front of her. Didn’t notice her body rocking with sobs until she heard one escape from her lips. She had been bottling all of it up since the that night on the rooftop. Not letting herself cry or express any emotion about the situation at all in over _six months_. But she couldn’t stomach it. She couldn’t bottle up how sucky it was to have a perfectly pleasant conversation with a perfectly pleasant girl who happens to be with the boy of her dreams. She let the sobs and cries come as she folded her laundry. She let the tears stream even as the heavy footsteps of a boy came down the hallway. 

“Nini?”

She froze. That voice. It was Ricky’s voice. He couldn’t see her like this. Nini bit her tongue, holding her breath trying the best she could to hold in her next sob. Lungs burning, she let out the most silent, and stable breath she could muster. 

“Oh, hey, Ricky,” She managed to say, still not turning around, for her eyes were much too red and her face much too puffy for her to face him.

“Are you okay? I thought I heard crying.”

“Um, nope. Just me. Here. Folding laundry.” She continued to pass the clothes through her hands, her fingers coming up to her face lightning fast to brush away a tear.

“Are you sure?” He pressed on. “I’m pretty positive I heard crying.” She felt him come nearer. “I know what your crying sounds like, Nini. Remember literally _any_ Pixar movie we’ve watched?” He chuckled. Clueless once again, trying to make Nini feel better but absolutely making it worse. 

“Like I said, I’m just folding laundry. I-I mean I washed my lipstick on accident, but nothing to cry about.” Nini forced a chuckle herself as she felt her voice waver. 

“Is it something Belle said? You don’t have to pitch in to that party if you don’t want to. The three of us could just hand out or something” Ricky suggested fucking cluelessly. Of course what she absolutely didn’t need right now was to be third wheeling with _them._

_“_ No. Again, I’m not crying. Everything is just fine. I would love to pitch in,” Nini couldn’t hold back a sniffle. Because no matter how much she didn’t want him to see her cry, she wouldn’t have snot dripping from her nose either. 

“Nini, seriously what’s wrong?” Ricky pressed. His hand went to her shoulder, and suddenly Nini didn’t care anymore. She couldn’t bare his touch when it wasn’t her that his touch belonged to. So she jerked away violently and turned around.

“I said no one is fucking crying please leave me alone!” She snapped. Ricky took a small, stunned step back before his face filled with sympathy and he came forward from a hug. Clueless once again. “Oh, bug, come here—“

Nini put her hand up, however, and backed up as much as she could, which unfortunately was just one step before her back was pressed against the table. “ _No_ ,” her voice was suddenly deep and stern and serious. Confusion crossed the curly haired boy’s face. “You do not get to do that. You _can’t_ do that.” 

“Do what?”

“Ricky,” she half scoffed, half sighed out of frustration. “I am—was in love with you, okay? _Head over heels_ in love.” A flash of understanding went through he boy as he took another small step back.

“Nini, I—“

But Nini went on, her sobs stabling, her voice getting stronger. She would not sweep this under the rug anymore. “For thirteen years, kindergarten to high school I was in love with you. You were my person. My _best friend_ in the entire fucking world. I thought we were soulmates, for godsakes. Soulmates! You know, I was in _fifth grade_ when I thought for the first time that I was probably going to marry you one day when we were all grown up. I used to try and think of my life without you, and I would hate it, I would _hate_ it. And-and everyone, and I mean _everyone_ would tell me. ‘Oh, you and him are forever’ and it would make me so so happy to hear that. So that whole week leading up to that night I built up the courage. The courage to tell you how I felt because—well because I figured you loved me, too, Ricky.” She let out an exasperated sigh. Hurt covered his face but she kept going. She didn’t care if it was hurting him. Nini had been hurting for months. 

“And when you didn’t feel the same way, it broke my heart. Shattered it. And that’s not your fault, I know that. I can’t be mad at you for not feeling the same way, you can’t control that. I know that. But then I came to school and apologized and dismissed everything and you just accepted it! I poured my heart out and you accepted the fact that we were going to ignore it!”

“Well, you said it was fine so I thought—“

“And I thought you knew me better than that, Bowen!” Nini put her fingers up to her temple, trying to organize her thoughts. “Look, what’s in the past is in the past, but I’ve been hurting _so much_ for the past months. And I’ve tried to keep a happy face, and I’ve tried to keep up the act, but you have to realize, Ricky, that it can’t be the same as it’s always been, you and me. Something changed with us that night and I can’t keep being the same Nini to you, especially when we’re around _her.”_

“Did Belle say something mean to you? You can tell me.” He attempted to come forward again, but hesitated at Nini’s deathly calm voice.

“No Ricky, _Princess Belle_ didn’t say anything mean. She’s fucking perfect and pleasant and nice and blonde with perfect skin and nails and probably the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, okay? She’s outgoing, and peppy, and cheerful and she’s been nothing but kind to me ever since I’ve known her. She’s everything I’m not, plus everything I thought set me apart from the rest. She’s amazing and I understand completely why you loved her instead of me. But I just need some time, okay Ricky? Yeah, time” The last sentence Nini basically mumbled to herself. Another possible solution to this situation. “Just give me some time. Away from you. Away from her. I’ve been trying to get over you, I just need a minute.” She turned around to load the laundry basket into her arms, and when she turned back, Ricky was still standing. Near speechless. 

“Nini, I’m really, really sorry.” Ricky’s own eyes were glassy.

“Like I said. It’s in the past.” Nini’s voice was hoarse. “And right now you have nothing to be sorry about. It’s not your fault that you’ve been able to find happiness and I could not. That’s my own issue, and I will deal with it on my own. Just— time. I just need time.” And without waiting for an answer, Nini walked past him and out of that little laundry room. Finally letting herself take a breath. She would drop off her clothes in her room and head were she needed to next. If she would start getting over him anywhere, it would be the orchestra room.

——————————

Sitting down in the back of the room, Nini popped open the case of her cello. She absolutely _loved_ the way her cello looked, felt. Warm caramel wood carved into beautiful curves. Just the smell of the wood, too, eased her mind. She held the instrument up to her body, and bow in hand she started playing. Simply from memory, her fingers danced along the strings. The bow became an extension of her arm, and then of her heart. Sometimes her eyes closed, sometimes they did not. Her physical being didn’t matter, because here, she was with the music. Every note and melody carried a little bit of her soul with her, and suddenly, she wasn’t thinking about Ricky. Wasn’t thinking of his curly hair and soft smile. Or that blonde girl who was so excited to see him. It was just Nini. Nini and the music. 

She went on for who knows how long. An hour? Three? She couldn’t tell. The sun had cast different shadows in the room when she finally finished her pieces. Nini was near breathless. Her bow fell to the side along with her arm. This was a good start, a great start really to moving on. It was as if this morning didn’t happen.

“That was beautiful.”

Nini’s head shot up to reveal Ricky leaned against the door frame. And just like that she felt much worse all over again. She paused, looking him up and down. Something had changed in the time she was in here. But she couldn’t tell what it was. Not just yet. “Ricky, I said I really needed time. And space.”

“I know…I know. Just—please, hear me out for a little bit. And then afterwards I’ll give you all the damn time you need, but,” He came closer. “I just need to say something to you. Explain, maybe.”

She considered it a moment before nodding her head just barely. He swiftly pulled up one of the many chairs in the room and sat across from her. 

“Before…that night, the last time I had heard two people say ‘I love you’ to each other, like romantically, was my parents, _two years ago._ And they didn’t even mean it. My mom was leaving for Chicago and they said it like some reflex.” 

Nini shifted in her seat. The topic of Ricky’s parents was not something they often talked about. It was super touchy for him. He would squirm every time she tried to bring it up.

But he continued. “And the less and less they said it, the less and less they got along, and talked to each other, and were even around each other. And then I just—I got this idea in my head that ‘I love you’ was a death sentence for any relationship.” Ricky played with the ring on his finger, yet to look up at Nini. He simply stared at the space between them. “So when you told me how you felt that night, I just panicked. I froze up, and my whole body was just telling me to run, to erase what you had just said. Because I was _so scared_ , Nini. I was terrified of those words. It was like the second you said it, I thought I lost you. Because I believed that if you love someone, losing them would just be inevitable. And I did not want to lose _you_.

“So when you said we could just ignore it all, I felt _so_ relieved. Because it felt like I could keep you forever. And I want to keep you forever, Nini, because you’re my favorite person _ever_.”

“What about Isabelle?” Nini asked quietly, her curiosity getting the best of her.

Ricky ran a hand through his hair, no doubt trying to find the right words to explain. “I started dating Isabelle because…because she seemed like the opposite of you.”

Nini scoffed. Yeah, the opposite of her. So Nini was the opposite of pretty. The opposite of nice and friendly. Ricky could tell what she was thinking, but he continued on, not taking back the words he spilled. “She seemed outgoing and friendly and warm to everyone around her—“

“And I’m not?”

“No, Nini, you’re not. You don’t always try new things, but you love what you already know. You’re a little shy to new people at first, and it takes time to get to know you and get close. But once you do? Once you warm up to someone, you make them feel like the most special person in the entire universe. Because Nini, when _you_ love someone, you prioritize them. You remember the small details. You remember that they need to use a blue mechanical pencil to take math tests, so you remember to bring one every time. You remember that they always forget to bring a jacket to…anywhere,” he chuckled, “so you bring one for them. You remember their drink order, their favorite thing to get at the bakery downtown. You remember and think about _all of it_. And _that_ is you Nini. Not Isabelle. And maybe she does have some of your traits, like you said, but,” He paused, taking a deep breath, “it’s those traits that I’m in love with.”

Nini’s mouth gaped open. Trying to comprehend what she thought she heard. 

“What…what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I love _you_ , Nini. Because if I think about Isabelle, I realize I only love her for what reminds me of you. I’m saying for ‘thirteen years, kindergarten to high school I was in love with you.’ That I knew, even when we were little, that I loved you and wanted you in my life forever. That I wanted to _be_ with you forever. I’m saying that I was scared to lose you to love but I lost you anyways and I hate myself for that. And that I’ve hated that we’ve grown apart. I’m saying that I—I broke up with Isabelle like an hour ago. I’m saying that I’m in love with you, Nini Salazar-Roberts, and I’m not going to run from it.”

It was Nini’s turn to sit frozen in her seat. She couldn’t believe the words she just heard, and from whose mouth they just came out of. Her pinky finger burned from how tightly she was gripping her bow at her side. She tried to find something to say back, _something_. But her shock held her back. The shock of hearing the most perfect speech she’s ever heard. 

And as she sat there with her mouth open like a fucking fish, Ricky stood from his chair, wiping his hands on the sides of his pants, scratching the back of his neck, desperately trying to relieve some of the tension. “So yeah, that’s…that’s what I needed to say. Of—of course, still, take all the time you need. And space. But, um, just know this, Nini—I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

And with that he turned and started walking towards the door. But as Nini sat still, a realization flashed through her mind. All of that hurting for months, this was her solution. He was her solution. She wouldn’t let it escape this time. 

Nini rushed from her seat, her bow rattling on the floor. Ricky was startled by the sudden soundand whipped around. But not fast enough to be ready for the girl grabbing him by the shirt just beneath his chest and pulling him to her, their lips crashing to each other. The kiss was hungry, making up for months—years—of “in love” they could have had. He pulled her closer by her waist, smiling against her lips at this new, perfect connection. Nini let her fingers touch his jaw, like she was trying to get closer even though there was no more space between them.

The kiss softened up. It became gentle and sweet as they slowly pulled away, sneaking a few, soft pecks to the other as they pressed their foreheads together. Nini didn’t realize her tears until she tried to look up at the curly haired boy and found that his face was blurry. Letting out a small giggle, she blinked away her tears and admired the view in front of her. 

“I love you, stupid.” She whispered

“I love you too, bug,” He kissed the tip of her nose, his lips just barely gracing her skin. “More than a friend. Or best friend. More than anything, everything.”

Nini felt her broken heart stitch itself back together as he helped her gather her cello and as they walked, hand in hand, out of the orchestra room. And as he pressed one more kiss into her hair, one last realization went through her head. _Hey, maybe he isn’t as clueless as I thought._

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think!


End file.
